The Brit President wins! He finally made a successful randomizer nickel flick spin rate judgmentation call, making it 4&1 for his Cremation Vacation. This victory then brought a dose of Cremation Cup controversy… The Old England Patriots reject an opportunity at a primary swing play and opt to throw the first pitch instead. ALWAYS SWING FIRST BUDDY! Too add to the drama the Brits made a triple draft switcheroo, bringing in, freshman screwballer BorthWicked, fastball pitcher Boy Franklin and Batman Gary Balance-Beamer.

The first quarter saw the Triple Tigers turn up their AWESOMENESS! Broad-Shoulders destroying the timbers of David Warner Bro. (14) and Jiminy Wickets sentencing Shane Whichson to his rosters first illegal pad deflect. The home franchise only making 97 points for 5 outs, a rare KangaBooHoo moment of the World Series. However, it was the two pals Will Smith (115) and Brad Haddon (75) who mopped up the tears once again for the Ozzies Pursuit of Happiness. An AWESOME tonnage from the SUPERSTAR with swell swinging, coupled with a friendship points accumulation with the multi-skill backstop left the Triple Tigers with little roar. A swing point recovery that even Dr. Dre would be proud of! The Green’N’Yellow franchise terminated for 326 points.

The Blue Caps came to the plate at the turn. It was painful watching for the Barney Army and Friends, with both their lead off swinger going for very little dollar. Michael Carvery greased one to the backstop Lion for a quacker and the President was imprisoned by illegal pad deflection, after he attempted an evade swing. WA WA WAAAA! The Cremation Cup calamities continued for the Britlanders as they found themselves 5 outs left with only 23 points accumulated. The only glimmer of AWESOMNESS came from their trio of freshman and pitcher Broad-Shoulders (30*) who swung them to 171 points behind at half time. BRITS BLUSHING!

Kangaroos hopped to the plate with the intent of a knockout swing score to bury the visitors to a 5-zero vacation. Chris Rodgers (115) proving he’s no rabbit again! He swung an AWESOME testing matchup tonnage, with swell base captures and clearing of the maximum point judgementation line. The Oz 20:20 shootout President, George W Bailey, smashing 46 points with his lead off pal, left the Old England Patriots 448 points. An astronomical feat seeing as the Brit Island franchise haven’t swung 400+ points in over 20 testing matchups! With 72 hours of cricket ball left anything was possible though! LETS PLAY BALL!

It was Cremation Cup crunch time going into the final quarter, as the Kangaroos were lining up a haymaker. Ryan Harrison-Ford was the man up for the fight as he took a 5 strikeout superclass to put the Brits to bed! No Blue Capper making a half tonnage, meaning it was lights out for them 281 points behind their arch nemeses’.

5 & DOHH! KANGAWOOHOO! The Brits all washed up and tumble dried! Darren Lehman Bro. firmly putting his stocks back on the swing market bringing home the bacon! Swell Series swinging from Bard Haddon & MJ moonwalking his way to the MVP award gave the Ozzies the edge in AWESOMENESS, leaving the Triple Tigers chomping. Testing complete, Ill see y’all at the ODI smasharoos, where @UScricketguy will be every pitch of the way.

#LETSPLAYBALL

The post 5th Testing Matchup – Sidney Cricketball Gardens first appeared on @UScricketguy.

The Cremation Cup Champions fighting out of the Yellow corner weighing in at 145+ kilograms per second… THE KANGAROOS! The challengers fighting out of the Blue corner from Britland, THE TRIPLE TIGERS! LETS PLAY BALL!
The Floppy Green Cap president and legendary randomizer nickel flick series champion made it 4 from 4 with an AWESOME spin rate determination, causing Cookie to crumble with another denial call! With climate conducive for curveball pitching the Kangaroos were keen for some decision timber destruction. One roster rotation for the Brits replacing their backstop for freshman mitt-man Jonny Grizzly Bear-Stow, no switcheroos for the champions.

The Old England Patriot lead off swingers came out of their locker room to the cheers of the Barney Army! They were quick to evade blows and countered with their own hooks. Both the President Chef (27) and Carvery (38) creamed it around the ballpark with beefy blows, but neither could reach the awesomeness of a half tonnage! With the Kangaroos outing the Batmans at key scenes during the blockbuster they remained in with a chance of a happy ending. Kevin Pete & Sons ltd. played a swell 71 point swing combo, but once the new shiny red rock was unveiled by the sweater collector, Mitchel Jordan was quick to his SLAM DUNKS and cleat seekers. With multiple timber destruction and no fairytalenders for the Brits, the Triple Tiger franchise were KO’d for 255 points and MJ moonwalked to another 5 strikeout superclass.

It was the Kangaroo lead off couples chance for the limelight at the start of the second quarter. It was however a series momentum switcheroo, with Broad Shoulders drawing first blood after striking Roger Rabbit with a grill seeker. The Triple Tigers then went after the kill, stalking and mauling the Ozlanders ripping their swing play to pieces. The only Kangaroos to pack a punch were Rodg (61) and Brad Haddon (65). Again, no tonnage conversion in the swing play just pitching awesomeness. Yo swingers a tip from me… WATCH THE LEATHERSKIN! Jiminy Wickets for the first time on his Cremation Vacation grabbed a 4 strikeout combo and forced a KANGABOOHOO phase… the Ozlanders left 51 points behind at half time.

The bell rang for Round 3 of this Testing matchup with the Brits ahead on points and looked to improve this for a unanimous decision victory! President Cookie (51) led the way with an awesome offence and Carvery with some swell denial swings, looked to be a thorn in the Kangaroo pouch. Brit Chef mixed himself into the cricketball hall of fame becoming the youngest batman to 8000 career points, proving to be more AWESOME that Satchal “The Little maestro” TenDunker! But after he was sentenced to an illegal pad deflect by an erect referee decision finger, his franchise couldn’t continue to float like a butterfly as MJ again put in a Thriller performance! Intercepts, home plate run out destructions and illegal pad deflects becoming the norm as his stage presence grew! The Brits throwing in the towel, as their last 5 outs came for just 6 points. It was LION ROARING to a 5 strikeout combo with his screwball sorcery, proving to be his franchise Mane Man!

The Green’N’Yellow franchise need 231 points for victory! Multi fumble felonies from the Britland backstops without their mitts allowed the Kangaroos to hop away! Buddies wear your mitts already… INTERCEPTS WIN MATCHUPS! Rodgers (116) again proved to be no rabbit as he converted an AWESOME tonnage on his home court! It also was elementary for dear Watson as he made an 81 point combo without swing feloney for the victory! SHERKNOCK BUDDY!
KANGAROOS LAND THE KO! 4 & DOHH to the home franchise who will now be super stoked for a series tumble dry! Will the Brits get off the canvas or will the Kangaroos put them on their butts for the 5th time this series? All I know is @UScricketguy will be there ever pitch of the way!

#LETSPLAYBALL

The post 4th Testing Matchup – Melbourne Square Gardens first appeared on @UScricketguy.

With Kangaroo President Michigan Clark on a hot streak of randomizer nickel flick victories, Ally Cook had to get his spin rate determination on point. It was however a denial call again by the Brit President forcing them to pitch first for the third time in the series. I don’t’ care what y’all say, the flick off challenge wins and loses you testing matches. So dude practice the currency launching technique already! The Kangaroos had no 1^st string draftees, but the Brits again opting for a double roster switcheroo, with the recall of Tim Breznanny & a primary Testing for Ben Stoked!

The Old England Patriots came out of their locker room pumped! Jiminy Wickets enforcing an AWESOME home-base destruction play from the “middle-pitcher zone” position, completing the run-out of Crisp Rodgers and showing the Ozlanders they can play some swell cricketball still! The Kangaroos were feeling the heat in Perth Town 360 degrees around them and committed multiple swing felonies to see them five strikeouts down for just 143 points. The coolest man in the Collywood Hills then came to the plate… Will Smith! A tonnage friendship point score by the BadBoy (111) and Brad Haddon (55) steadied the rocket-ship, firing them to a 385 point team totalage and involuntary innings termination.

Brit lead-off homies, Carvery (43) and Cookie (72), chowed down with some meaty blows and some smooth gravy like swinging. Dining was interrupted by a decision timber destroyer from Ryan Harrison-Ford, he Raided The Lost Arc with Carvery attempting an evade swing but hitting the leatherskin onto the plate. The next strikeout saw a dose of Cremation Cup Controversy! Joe Rooster sending an erect decision finger to the TMO after he tickled leatherskin to the backstop. Thermal imaging showed no contact but Hit-o-Meter technology heard a slight tickle, which meant the Ballpark Erection remained. The Kangaroos smelt blood and went for the KO! With the pitcher zone looking more and more like the Grand Canyon strikeouts came as fast an American Muscle! VRROOMM! The Britlanders left 134 points behind at half time.

The Brit pitchers needed to chop the Ozzies down early with decision timber destruction and cause a roster TIMBERR! It was not easy with their #1 seed thrower, Stuart Broad-Shoulders, in the Crematorium after a 145+ kilo per second MJ cleat seeker that crushed his toes. Floppy Green Caps raced to a lead off friendship tonnage points combo with Shane Warner Bro. proving the Tazmanian devil again with some swell homerun hitting for his own tonnage. By the time Shane Whichson got to the plate the Triple Tigers were on their paws. He smashed 103 from just 108 pitches clearing the maximum point judgmentation line 16 times! They don’t call it the Perth Town Whacker for nothing! He was struckout with some Cremation Comedy as he sent the leatherskin to the space station and back for Belly to fumble… Whichson was then caught ball watching between bases and was then run-out short of home plate when the decision twigs were dislodged. It was the only laugh the visitors had though as more home run hitting from George W. Bailey left them needing 504 points to prevent a Cremation Cup calamity at the turn.

Into the final quarter, President Cookie with a Golden Quacker as Ryan Harrison-Ford beamed down an unstoppable decision timber destroyer. Strikeouts again came easily for the Ozlanders until Kevin Pete & Sons ltd. swung swell but went for a homer to convert a half tonnage but was intercepted short of the maximum point judgementation line. The Brits needing to find some AWESOMENESS from somewhere… The sweet sounding Bell added a half tonnage but his uppercut swing was intercepted by the backstop. Triple Tiger freshman Ben Stoked (120) came out the locker room fighting. He swung sweller than any other of his roster this Cremation Series. The youngSTAR proving he’s got the KAHOONERS for Testing Match cricketball with the first Triple Tiger tonnage of the vacation. YOU ROCK BUDDY! With the pitcher zone requiring safety harnesses, the Brits couldn’t hold on any longer. The Old England Patriots terminated 150 points behind, the Kangaroos completing their Cremation Cup Capture! The Brits whacked at the Whacker!

KANGAROOS RULE BRIT-ANNA! They are Cremation Cup Champions and end years of hurt! A 3 & DOHH soccer scoreline leaves the Brits on the canvas and out for the count. STRIKKKKEE 1… 2… 33333! YOUR OUTTA HERE! With two more Testings to play can the Ozzy franchise convert a 5-zero White Tumble-Dry! Theres only one way you buddies will know… @UScricktguy will be there every pitch of the way!

#LETSPLAYBALL

@UScricketguy

The post 3rd Testing Matchup – Perth Town Whacker first appeared on @UScricketguy.

At the randomizer nickel flick off showdown the Floppy Green Caps announced an unchanged 1^st string roster. The Triple Tigers dipped into the draftee mart, applying a roster rotation strategy play! They gave freshman Ben Super-Stoked his primary Blue Cap and screwball, bouncer specialist Monty PaNASA entrance to the frat party! President Cookie looking to find form in nickel spin judgmentation but again made a denial call. Kangaroos hopped to the AWESOMELY smooth drop-in pitcher zone faster than you can say HOWDYZATT!

Nothing much to holla about the Britlanders pitcheroos… it was basically a SUPERSIZED buffet of juicy throws. The Ozlanders tucking into anything thrown their way. Roger Rabbit (72), Shane Whichson (51) & George W. Bailey (53) all with half tonnages but the A-GRADE SHOWCASE coming in the form of a double tonnage friendship point’s accumulation by President superman Clark-Kent (148) and Brad Haddon (118)! They both made individual celebratory point tonnages with the swellest swinging of the series so far. The Brits will be kicking themselves real hard in the butts as they had some pretty darn rookie intercepts fumbled to the turf. Michael Carvery at backward point-guard was a real Cremation Cup Calamity, WEAR YOUR MITTS BUDDIES! It goes back to that well known cricketball saying, “Intercepts win playoffs”! Kangaroos and Darren Lehman Bro. got their playbook out, applying the Optional Swing-Play Termination with shares up at 570pts. on Ball Street.

The Triple Tiger franchise swaggered to the plate with the sound of “Joe Rootsalem” ringing in their ears from the Barney Army cricketball choir! The fans were silenced by MJ who assassinated Brit President Cook with a decision timber destroyer in merely the 3^rd pitch play of the quarter! Mitch Jordan with his 145+ kilogram per second slam dunk bounce passes coupled with some AWESOME Presidency fieldsman positionization by Michigan Clark saw the Kangaroos floating like a butterfly, but stinging like a bee! The Brits with their back up against the ropes saw six of their Batman’s struck out for just 24 points! Matt Prayer, Stuart Broad-Shoulders and Jiminy Wickets all with quackers! No chance of a fairytalender with MJ moon walking his way to a seven strikeout SUPERCLASS, which was a feast of awesomeness… Illegal pad deflects, backstop intercepts and, of course, DECISION TIMBER DESTRUCTION! Old England Patriots reaching maximum team strikeouts within the Double Innings of Doom threshold. The Oz playbook was out again, but they opted against enforcing the double batting strategy to rub pepper into the cuts!

Shane Warner Bro. came to the plate with some Elmer THUDDD! He walloped 83 points without swing felony in just 117 pitches, clearing the maximum point judgmentation line ten times! He got his franchise to a 530 point advantage before the optional swing play termination was enforced.

The final quarter saw some swell denial swings from the Brits. Joe Rooster swinging at 194 pitches before swing felony to sidewinder Nathan Lion. Kevin Pete & Sons ltd.  and Ben Stoked crashing on the swing market after 90 pitches, again showing some AWESOME Testing Matchup cricketball swinging from the Brits! A change of matchup mentality saw Matt answer the Prayers of behind the dugout selctionizer congress, in a awesomeness resurrection play! At the bottom of the 5^th there were multiple homeruns and ground contact maximums, but this counter attack offence was short lived. Maximum strikeouts reached and her AWESOMENESS’ national crickball franchise losing by 218 points.

KANGAROOS WIN 2^nd TESTING MATCHUP! KANGAWOOHOO! They make it 2 & Oh going to the Perth Town WHACKEROO Arena! Brits after some bouncerback abilities to get off the back foot! A Cremation Cup Championship showdown is ahead, with a win for the Ozzies resulting in a Jar capture! Hope y’all are ready as @UScricketguy will be there with you every pitch of the way!

#LETSPLAYBALL

@UScricketguy

The post 2nd Testing Matchup – Black Adderlaide Arena first appeared on @UScricketguy.

The all important and much anticipated Cremation Cup curtain raiser randomizer nickel flick-off, saw Brit President Cookie with a judgementation call feloney! The Kangaroo franchise opting for their Swing Play in the first quarter on a real smooth highway pitcher zone.

The Old England Patriots pitchers were SUPER pumped for some decision timber destruction and sentencing of illegal pad deflects. Straight out of Andy Flour’s playbook saw a bumpy pitch play which the Oz lead-off batman’s could not cope with. They committed multiple swing felonies and instead of making Stuart Broad-Shoulders “cry” it was more of a KangaBooHoo! To ensure the Green’n’Yellow franchise made the grade, it was down to the non-batter specializing draftees. Backstop Braddin (94) and fast ball pitcher Mitchel Jordan (64) accumulated an AWESOME tonnage friendship points score, including three non-ground contact maximum homeruns. Brad Hadon in search of an individual tonnage celebration went for 2^nd base, after a short vertical bunt swing, but he was well short of the plate with Matt Prayer completing the decision twig knock off! The quarter SUPERSTAR, Broadie, with a celebratory six strikeout combo and his sobbing switcheroo play saw the Floppy Green Caps terminate their points chance at just 295!

Into the second quarter, the Triple Tigers took to the plate and seemed at home in the environment despite and early assassination of President Cook. Mature student and roster freshman, Mikey Carvery, found driving on this highway pitcher zone easy, with some hard swinging sending the leatherskin over the maximum point judgment line. All seemed swell for the Brits until after the Fast Food timeout… The Kangaroos must have saved their feast for on the ballpark! Enforcement of the bumpy pitch play saw Mitchel Jordan flying without wings. He starred in his very own Pace Jam, slam-dunking the leatherskin at well over 145+ kilograms per second! The Blue Caps didn’t make the cut, committing six swing felonies for just nine points! Wa Wa Waaaa! The fast ball pitcheroos combined with some screwball sorcery from Nathan Lion saw the Kangaroos roar through the fairy talenders, terminating Britlands swing phase, 159 points behind at half-time.

The Kangaroos hopped back to the plate with what seemed some mental reinforcearization… they must have got the Wizard of Oz in to give them some courage and heart during the interval! The swing SUPERSTARS David Warner Bro. (124) and Michigan Clark (113) with the Cremation Vacations first tonnages. They put the Triple Tiger pitchers effectiveness into hibernation as they leaped to a 561 franchise point lead and opted for the Self Swing Termination Strategy. An AWESOME example of swing AWESOMENESS, challenging the Brits to a World Record Testing Matchup point chase!

Into the final quarter, the Old England Patriots were forced to the plate at the bottom of the 3^rd. They went for the denial swing style, but set the tone with Carvery guarding his decision timbers for just 14 pitches until his D-fence was breached for a QUACKER! President Cookie the only Brit Batman to implement the play successfully with almost 200 pitches being thrown at him before he tickled leatherskin, attempting to make the cut, to the backstop off screwballer Nathan Lion. The double Precipitation Problem Timeouts couldn’t wash the Blue Cap franchise troubles away, as the Ozzys thundered through to a maximum strikeout Swing Play termination in lightening time! The Britlanders were left 381 points behind with still a scheduled 24 hours of ball to play!

KANGAROOS WIN 1^st TESTING MATCHUP! KANGAWOOHOO!! They take a 1 – zero soccer score advantage to the 2nd playoff at the Black Adder-laide Circular BallPark! Can the Floppy Green Caps put on another Stone Cold STUNNER showcase or was that merely novices’ luck!? All I know is @UScricketguy will be there with you every pitch of the way!

#LETSPLAYBALL

@UScricketguy

The post 1st Testing Matchup – Brizbane Gabba Arena first appeared on @UScricketguy.

The Brit Cremation Cup contained many a controversy, from the Dodgy Review System to the Walker Gate Scandal! Darren Lehamn Bro. feels he and his roster have some unfinished business on the swing market. Lets hope for his sake there is no double dip recession! This World Series is looking likely to be Andy Flour’s lap of honor, as rumors on Ball Street suggest he is hanging up his cleats and clipboard at Creamation Cup cessation, the Triple Tigers will hope that the Flower Power lasts throughout the vacation and that its all happy holidays!

Both rosters have had very different Preparization Strategy Plays to make sure they are at their peak AWESOMENESS for the 1^st Test at the Gabba Arena in Brizbane. The Triple Tigers choosing to go into hibernation and have a sports switcheroo to get their swings style more accurate… GET IN THE HOLE! The Kangaroos hopped right into a Major League 24 hourer playoff series with the Indiana Blue Cap franchise. This provided some pretty darn good shootouts with some MEGA points being accumulated and some AWESOME homerun hitting. The Indiana roster proving the Kangaroos to have little punch with their pitching, which allowed the Brits to have some sweet dreams during their hibernation play.

Wizards of OZ

Jo Rooster – The Triple Tiger freshman after his bar bust up howdy to international cricketball had some mixed AWESOMENESS. Hearing there are a lot of “Roads” in Oz so expecting Roosters driving to be pretty darn effective.

Graham Swan – MVP pitcher of the Cremation Cup on his home turf with most strikeouts, as well as the return of “Swanny’s Diary’s” this honorary fraternity member is a must watch!

Monty PaNASA – Cremation Cups are all about controversies and conundrums. Some of the things this screwball pitcher does on and off the turf is out of this world. Potential HERO, potential ZERO.

Michael Clark-Kent – President of the Kangaroos and occasional superman. This cricketeer hits the leatherskin super sweet and knows how to accumulate an AWESOME celebratory tonnage, could be a Cremation Cup changer on his day! Hope his kryptonite, back illness, doesn’t play a part this semester.

David Warner Bro. – Serious schwinger! During his preparization he whacked the highest ever points score in State Major A League cricketball of 197 from just 144 pitches… This looney on tune, it’s All you need Folks! Watch out for this dude on the Boxing Day Testing!

George W Bailey – ODI President declared war on Pakistanford with his timber swings bombing homeruns into the fans and pillaging 00s of points. This homie is an AWESOME smooth track bully and likely to conquer the Testing match stage!

Cricketeers this Cremation Vacation isn’t going to be all happy holidays and soda pops!  @Uscricketguy will be there ever pitch of the way, so be prepared for a whole heap of conundrums and controversies dudes! I’m SUPER STOKED!

#LETSPLAYBALL

Testing Match Schedule:

1^st Testing: November 21^st – 25^th (Gabba Arena, Brizbane)

2^nd Testing: December 5^th – 9^th  (Black Adder-laide Circular BallPark)

3^rd Testing: December 13^th – 17^th (Whacker, Perth Town)

4^th Testing: December 26^th – 30^th (Melbournapolis Cricketball Gardens)

5^th Testing: January 3^rd – 7^th (Sydneville Cricketball Gardens)

The post The Cremation Vacation Preview 2013/14 first appeared on @UScricketguy.