Limited pitch shootout cricketball utilizes the more familiar, to us Yankee Doodles, White leatherskin! The baseball-style ball allows Batmans to see in the dark, and because of this AWESOME technology many a Dark Knight has risen! It also ensures cricketeers can play ball 24 hours a day & 7 days a week… We don’t like cricketball we LOVIN’ IT!

Cricketball scientists have conducted experimentation using pink leatherskins in National franchise matchups with cricketettes and in college playoffs with the sports freshman future superstars, but these have proved inconclusive in improving ball visibility and swing scores! In my opinion the answer is already there for us ballers… “The future is bright and the future is ORANGE”!

Roster draftees have been known to illegally modify the leatherskin on the field, without sweater collector detection. Such instances have been from simple manual stitching leverage to the more complex use of UV protection serum to produce variation of leatherskin movement! Hey buddies… That’s just not cricketball!

One last tip from your cousin across the pond, especially for you budding pitchers; If you look after your balls they will look after you!

The post US Cricket Guy Cricketball Conundrum: The Leatherskin first appeared on @UScricketguy.

The cricketball scientist that configured the awesomeness now has two representatives at every match-up, in their white coats, ensuring the use of such advanced weaponry is controlled and safe. The timber itself has many special features:

• The rubber safety harness attached to the handle of the timber ensures the weapon does not slip during combat, allowing for maximum precision and reduction of the recoil.
• The “grain” inserted into the timber maximizes power awesomeness. Scholars suggest that 7-9 grains ensures the balance between durability and large leatherskin yardage striking.
• The swell spot is mythical zone on the timber that has been told to be the source of Homerun Heaven. Many a Batman wishes to understand and find it on their timber, but only the lucky cricketeers will ever experience and harness its true power.

To enhance the timber abilities a cricketeer must pour sand down the front of the blade and then massage oil onto its face, a ritual that blesses the timber by the cricketball Gods and ensures safe passage onto the turf. A Batman will then put a leatherskin in a sock and bang the timber to awaken the grains and locate the swell spot.

Cricketeers from generation to generation have wielded the armament in many forms and used it on many missions. It is this diversity and flexibility to the playoff situation that has proven its success to this very day. We must thank Willow for his invention that changed the world forever, a truly inspirational cricketballer. Rest In Pads buddy!

@UScricketguy

#LETSPLAYBALL

The post Cricketball Conundrum – The Batmans Timber first appeared on @UScricketguy.

Prior to the currency taking flight, there is a thorough inspection of the pitcher zone for its smoothness, foliage and H₂O saturation. The climate is also a factor that Presidents look to in aid of their judgementation call, with huge scientific research by Albert EinSteyn helping determine whether to opt for the first quarter swing-play or pitch strategy.

By taking to the plate first a franchise has an AWESOME opportunity to psychologically take advantage in the playoff. If global warming is present and the pitcher zone is a highway, then sending multiple homeruns out the ballpark and accumulating an astronomical team swing score will make the opposition real sad. But if there are curveball cumulonimbus clouds present and a high pitcher zone percentile of grass per square meter, a primary pitch play will aid quick decision timber destruction and sentencing of illegal pad deflects!

The sweater collector referee for the matchup has the responsibility of the thumb propulsion spin, a skill that requires great precision and training to master the wonder of gravity. When the nickel is at optimum trajectory and at ultimate spin-rate, the President makes that all important call… Heads or Toes! If I were President I would use that well known cricketball saying, “Toes never shows”, and make the Heads call! The theatre and suspense of the currencies hang time is a thing of AWESOMENESS! After ground contact is made and the nickel comes to rest, the sweater collector declares the Flick-Off champion and the innings strategy is revealed. After a fist pump to conclude the challenge, the winning President swaggers back to the locker room acting out his decision in order for his roster to prepare for the first quarter.

I leave you with the swellest quote of cricketball history by Hall of famer George W. Grace;

“When you win the randomizer nickel  – swing. If you are in doubt, think about it, then swing. If you have very big doubts, consult a homie – then swing”!

#LETSPLAYBALL

The post Cricketball Conundrum: The Randomizer Nickel Flick first appeared on @UScricketguy.

This big bucks strikeout analysis systemization consists of some pretty darn AWESOME gear to pass judgments over the sweater collectors “Decision Finger Erection Status”. Firstly, Steven Hawkings Eyesight is consulted, who then constructs a pretty sweet cartoon show to sentence a batman to an illegal pad deflect or not. A hit-o-meter sound detection device, buried within the decision timbers, is used to predict leatherskin-timber tickles and any ballpark banter attempts. Lastly, Thermal Imaging Technology (TIT) is then used by the TMO for any heat seeking opportunities, detecting again that leatherskin-timber contact.

Past advances have also had high attention from the paparazzi. The Darkness Detection Device was introduced as a batman could not see in the dark, due to the lack of carrots and Flood Lamps. Testing matches are the only type of playoffs to be effected by this phenomenon, but isn’t it supposed to be a “TESTING” match… surely the darker it is the more testing it becomes? It sure would make that randomizer nickel flick determination even more crucial if the batman couldn’t see during the final quarter!

Cricketeers, I am all for making cricketball more AWESOME but hey do it the American way… SUPERSIZED and RIGHT! Take the Americanized CPL 20:20 shootout in West Indiana for example. They have lit it up like the 4^th of July with flashing decision twigs and maximum point judgment lines. THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT BUDDIES!

I gotta say ballers it all sounds pretty good and dandy, but y’all know how many Cremation Cup controversies there were last semester! Those cricketball scientists need to get back to the lab at the LCG and fine-tune its potential game changing abilities!

The post Cricketball Conundrum: Cricketball Technologicization first appeared on @UScricketguy.

In America, the greatest national franchise of them all, we welcome this swith-a-roo play! The Indiana state draftees play some pretty darn AWESOME ball. It won’t be long until we have one of those pesky 20:20 shootout Super Bowl World Series’ and we can make that stake for intergrationzation into the International Cricketball Congress tournaments.

There has been attempts for other national franchise to copy the work of her majesty the Queens cricketball franchise. Most recently, the Floppy Green Cap Kangaroo ballers made a draft for a screwball bowler in an attempt to re-capture the little jar in the Cremation Challenge. The dude called Forward Ahmed ended up being a benchwarmer, a locker-room loner and a dugout demon. He was mainly utilized by Ozzy to ensure the 1^st stringers maintained hydration levels and understand the play the coach wanted run. Daren Lehman Bro. learnt the hard way again with his poor allocation of shares, with his squad liquidated by the AWESOMENESS of the Triple Tigers. Hopefully there will be no double dip recession for him and his cricketeers as they look to dominate the Brits Cremation Vacation in their home ballparks!

News of this SUPER sweet draftee play even provoked the likes of soccer star Jack Wilshearer of the Red Cannon and Brit soccer franchises, in which KP quickly noted that maybe his rosters should say howdy to these draftees as then they might one semester win a SUPER BOWL! Cricketball 1 – 0 Soccer!

The post US Cricket Guy Cricketball Conundrum: Foreign Franchise Draftees first appeared on @UScricketguy.

Something new to me is that cricketball is one of the most stressful sports on the globe… So stressful in fact that it fractures cricketeers backs regularly! The “Roster Rotation Strategy” works as a form of rehab to ensure ballers return to mental stability and peak AWESOMENESS. Hey buddies try some cold ones instead!

This strategy play has brought about the birth of limited pitch specialists. These dudes love a homerun and switcheroo-strike, are acrobatically gifted in making interceptions and can pitch AWESOME Yorkchester State style, knuckle balls and bumpy pitches. It’s a shame Brit pedalo captain Freddie Flintoffee has hung up his cleats already, he would have ROCKED!

Coaches, if you are looking to add this risky strategy to your playbook you have been warned. For all you keen ball fans, like me, you also want the most AWESOME cricketball entertainment, but hey it seems great for the future franchise superstars and prolongs cricketeers ball careers so #LETSPLAYBALL!

The post US Cricket Guy Cricketball Conundrum: Roster Rotation Strategy first appeared on @UScricketguy.